Despair is what happens when you fight sadness. Compassion is what happens when you don’t.
— Susan Piver

Counseling for Trust 

When a relational norm violation occurs (e.g., emotional and/or sexual 'affair' or ‘infidelity’), it can send relationships into a tailspin. (And that’s saying it politely.)

Wherever you are, the first thing to know is: there's hope. 

Through the counseling process, corrective emotional experiences lead partners to re-define their relationship as safe and secure. 

If you're in a relationship with more than two people or/and open relationship(s) and wanting some support to process emotions related to jealousy or a sense of betrayal, I have experience working with many types of relationships. 

It's possible to build a secure bond together where trust can grow wild again. 

Photo: Sabina Ciesielska

Photo: Sabina Ciesielska

We repeat what we don’t repair.
— Christine Langley-Obaugh

clients set the pace

Treatment pacing is particularly important in trust recovery counseling for partners wanting to explore attachment injuries and build trust and relational safety.

Emotional heavy lifting and deeper processing begin only when everyone is experiencing a felt-sense that their partner has their back no matter what and the relationship feels safe and predictable. 

Counseling work to stabilize, process, and return to feelings of closeness occurs in three primary stages: 1) assessment, safety-building, and de-escalation of negative cycles; 2) emotional attunement, insight co-creation, and pattern shifting; and 3) bonding, making relational repairs, and planning for the future. 

If you can imagine a distressed relationship as a ship at sea in the midst of a massive storm: Stage 1 is surviving the worst part of the squall without capsizing and sinking, Stage 2 is regaining bearings and treating wounds, and Stage 3 is making any repairs necessary for the ship and charting a course together.

Were you cheated on? Are you wondering if a relationship can survive after an affair/s? There's hope. Morgan Johnson, MA, LPC Intern is a helping professional at Luminary Counseling under the supervision of Jennifer Buffalo, LPC-S, LMFT.