“Despair is what happens when you fight sadness. Compassion is what happens when you don’t. ”
Counseling for Trust
When a relational norm violation occurs (e.g., emotional and/or sexual 'affair' or ‘infidelity’), it can send relationships into a tailspin. (And that’s saying it politely.)
Wherever you are, the first thing to know is: there's hope.
Through the counseling process, corrective emotional experiences lead partners to re-define their relationship as safe and secure.
If you're in a relationship with more than two people or/and open relationship(s) and wanting some support to process emotions related to jealousy or a sense of betrayal, I have experience working with many types of relationships.
It's possible to build a secure bond together where trust can grow wild again.
Photo: Sabina Ciesielska
“We repeat what we don’t repair. ”
clients set the pace
Treatment pacing is particularly important in trust recovery counseling for partners wanting to explore attachment injuries and build trust and relational safety.
Emotional heavy lifting and deeper processing begin only when everyone is experiencing a felt-sense that their partner has their back no matter what and the relationship feels safe and predictable.
Counseling work to stabilize, process, and return to feelings of closeness occurs in three primary stages: 1) assessment, safety-building, and de-escalation of negative cycles; 2) emotional attunement, insight co-creation, and pattern shifting; and 3) bonding, making relational repairs, and planning for the future.
If you can imagine a distressed relationship as a ship at sea in the midst of a massive storm: Stage 1 is surviving the worst part of the squall without capsizing and sinking, Stage 2 is regaining bearings and treating wounds, and Stage 3 is making any repairs necessary for the ship and charting a course together.
Intensives
Coming to Austin from out of town or just hoping to experience a big dose of relief? You can book me for a 2-day Trust Recovery Intensive. That looks like two days 9am-5pm (with breaks for snacks and lunch!). Working this way can help kickstart your trust recovery process.
There is a screening process for intensives because I need to ensure everyone is stable enough to do this longer-form style of counseling. If you’re in Austin, I’ll invite you in for a complimentary consultation (30min) and if you’re out of town, we can set up a Zoom video conference (30min).
In addition to the Trust Recovery Intensive, which integrates principles from The Gottman Institute, Dr. Sue Johnson of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, Esther Perel, Interpersonal Neurobiology, and, Stan Tatkin’s Psychobiological Approach, you can also request:
-Sue Johnson’s ‘Hold Me Tight’ private 2-day weekend retreat (great for premarital partners!)
-Gottman Assessment (Intensive Style)
Gottman Assessment (Intensive Style): If you’d like to experience the intensive style of the Gottman Assessment, you’ll get a science-driven, and mathy look at your relationship and customized recommendations based on your dynamics. Before the intensive, you’ll complete and submit the paper form of the Gottman Assessment, which I’ll score before we meet. On the first morning/afternoon of the 2-day weekend, I’ll present the results of your assessment and outline some initial recommendations. On the second day, we’ll take it deeper and make concrete plans to get the relationship feeling connected and attuned.